Shelter from the World
by narnianofcairparavel
Summary: When a young girl collapses on their door step the Pevensie family realise that their personal heartbreak is the least of their concerns. AU. Dark Themes. ON HIATUS.
1. Susie

Susan slept quietly as the fire crackled beside her, she sighed gently as she dozed- her dreams full of ridiculous notions she never gave much thought to during waking hours. She was far too smart for the silly nonsense that so often filled her subconscious; what her life might have been had she not been forced to move to Calormen.

A noise wrenched her from her dream suddenly. Susan looked around the room groggily, trying to identify and remove the source of the noise so she could return to her dream. In the back of her mind, she began to register than the noise seemed to be coming from the hallway, perhaps even the front door of her grandfather's- no,_ her_ home. Frowning to herself, she looked up at the large grandfather clock that occupied one corner of the room in which she had dozed off. It confirmed her suspicions and heightened her wariness over who was outside. Susan was the first to admit that she was still somewhat naïve as to the ways of the world- thanks to her overly sheltered upbringing- but even she was aware of the types of people that came a-knocking so late at night. She shuddered involuntarily, debating waking one of the servants to answer the door for her.

No, she decided stoutly. She would be brave and prove to herself that she was much more than the pretty face everyone saw. Susan Pevensie could take care of herself and everyone should know it.

Susan huffed as she stood up, stretching her aching muscles and cursing herself for sleeping in such funny angles.

"Come on, Su," she whispered to herself, walking slowly into the corridor and down towards the ornate door that lay before her.

The icy coolness of the wooden floor nipped at her toes causing her to hiss and wince with every step; she was not good at dealing with the cold. She had never considered herself very fanciful and yet found herself beginning to imagine that the floor was made of fire. 'Mind over matter' as Edmund always said when he sliced his fingers with his sword.

The door loomed ever closer and the more sensible side of her told her to turn around, go upstairs and return to her sleep. Perhaps wake on of the servants on the way. Whomever it was on the other side was unrelenting and the knocking continued though each time it became fainter than the last. She frowned, grabbing the nearest weapon to her; a heavy silver candle stick holder that Mrs. Macready would surely murder her for even touching. Susan could not imagine actually harming an intruder, she was too gentle by nature, but the person on the other side did not know that and she could easily put on a brave front.

With a shaking hand, she began to undo the multiple locks her grandfather had insisting on, fumbling with the final dew before wrenching the heavy wooden door open with a hammering heart.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

Whatever Susan had expected to find on the other side of the door, what she did see was not it. On the door step of her grandfather's home stood a small girl, no older than fifteen, shivering as she drew a tattered shawl closer around her shoulders.

"Hello?" Susan said as grandly as she could, taking in the pitiful sight before her. "Can I-" she did not get to finish her sentence; the girl let out a little gasp before collapsing on the spot.

She stared at the crackling fire lulled by the soft noises the flames made as they danced over the wood.

The door opened with a sharp click forcing Susan out of her reverie with a slight gasp. "How is she?"

Edmund frowned, his sharp features drawing together in confusion. "How's who?" He grumbled, sitting opposite her.

"Oh, of course, you weren't awake when it happened."

"I wasn't awake when _what _happened, Susan. You're never normally this cryptic."

Susan smiled at her brother earning another frown for her efforts. "I'm not being intentionally cryptic, Ed. A knock at the door woke me last night; it was a girl, about a year or so younger than you."

Edmund nodded hesitantly, wringing his fingers together for a moment before meeting his sister's eyes. "You answered the door at night?"

Susan nodded haughtily, knowing what Edmund was about to say instantly, not in the mood for an argument. "I know what you're going to say, Ed. Please don't, Grandfather has already said it, along with Mrs. Macready."

Her brother continued to stare accusingly at her before moving to the large bookcase that occupied one wall of the living room. "Does Grandfather have any books written in Narnian," the boy groaned after a few minutes of perusing the shelves.

Susan laughed despite herself. "Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, Edmund?"

The younger of the two clearly did not appreciate the joke and grumbled something under his breath in Telmarine, the only language Susan had never been able to pick up, before catching her eye and grinning apologetically. "Sorry, Su. You know I don't mean it really."

Susan nodded, understanding her brother's downbeat attitude. "It was always going to be a difficult time, Edmund."

There was a knock at the door distracting the siblings from their darker thoughts.

"Come in," Susan called, rubbing Edmund's shoulder with a sad smile before turning to the person at the door.

"Miss Susan, Professor Kirke has asked to speak to you," the servant curtseyed in the direction of the two Pevensies.

"Thank you, Ivy," Susan smiled allowing the young woman to take her leave. She turned slowly towards Edmund. "Are you going to be okay, Edmund?"

His dark eyes bore into her lighter ones. "I've done this well so far, _Susie_."

Susan tried not to wince at his choice of name; no one had called her _Susie_ in almost a year. Tears began to prick in her eyes and she fought furiously to blink them away. She gasped softly as her throat began to constrict and threw her arms around Edmund's shoulders. "I miss them, Ed."

She felt his breath on her hair, realising with shock that he had grown so much in the past few months. "I know. I miss them too."

"Ah, Susan! Walk with me."

Susan nodded, gently taking hold of the arm her grandfather held out to her. He rubbed the back of her hand absently as they began to walk, talking their way through the most mundane of subjects before the tone shifted suddenly.

"Ah! Here we are." He looked at the door by which they were now stood. "The girl you found last night, don't worry child, I've said all I need to say on the matter, has been moved up here now that the doctor has seen her."

Susan looked up in shock. "He has?"

Professor Kirke's eyes sparkled. "Yes, he has. She's been asking for you."

"She has, Sir?"

Professor Kirke nodded, patting Susan's shoulder. "Not by name, of course, but yes, she has been asking for the girl who answered the door. By all accounts, that would be _you_."

Susan laughed as her grandfather poked the tip of her nose with his forefinger. It reminded her of her childhood but she refused to dwell on that. "I'm guessing that you want me to go in?"

She did so solemnly, pushing the door gently open as her grandfather made his way back to his study.

Inside the girl was snoring softly, her mouth hanging slightly open.

Susan watched her for a moment before sitting in the armchair placed beside the bed, somewhere in the back of her mind Susan supposed the doctor must have moved it while carrying out his examination.

With the sun's rays fanning out around the room the girl looked even younger than she had when Susan first saw her.

With a start, the girl shot up right, gasping for air as if she had been smothered.

Susan lent forward automatically, muttering soothing words as the girl turned to her, realisation dawning on her childish features.

"Where am I?" She asked her voice meek and barely audible.

"It's alright, you're safe now. You're staying in the guest quarters of Professor Kirke."

The girl met Susan's eyes hesitantly, as if she was afraid that doing so would lead to some kind of assault on her. "You're the one who answered the door."

Susan smiled at this, nodding her head. "I'm Lady Pevensie. What's your name?"

Her companion's eyes flickered to her hands as she laced her fingers together, picking at the chewed skin that surrounded each of her nails. "My name?" She asked, as if the idea was a foreign concept to her. "I'm Lucy, just Lucy." She amended in a whisper, looking strangely pleased with herself for having remembered. "Most people just call me 'girl'."

"It's a pleasure, Lucy. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough that those who live in this house are not '_most people_'."

**XXXX**

**A/N **Yes, it is short but it's something and I'm pretty proud of it and I'm so happy to be writing again. I'm not sure about my characterisation in this chapter as I'm pretty rusty but I hope it will improve as the story progresses. Don't worry if you're confused about some parts of this chapter. You're meant to be and all will be revealed as the story goes on.

**Disclaimer**: It is my unfortunate duty to inform you that I own none of these wonderful characters as a great author got there before me…Curse my luck and being born far too late to claim that right…


	2. Nightmares

Susan stared out of her bedroom window, sighing as she took in the scene. There was no one around. Not a single soul hovered around. The view itself was not remarkable either. Just a great expanse of yellowing grass; the desperate efforts of the numerous gardeners were nothing against the unforgiving Calormen weather. She had never thought she would miss the rain when living in Narnia but she did. She missed so much about her former home that she could hardly breathe for longing when she thought of her old life.

There was movement below the window causing her to reel back nervously before realising to her chagrin it was simply one of the gardeners doing his best to save the dying lawn. Before her move to Calormen she had never been skittish or even slightly nervous, in fact she had been rather the extrovert. Susan Pevensie had been the object of many a noblemen's affections and desire and she had encouraged their advances, too vain to care about the consequences. That was a long time ago, a different time, a different place, a different Susan.

She sighed solemnly before standing, smoothing the rich blue satin of her skirts and making her way towards the quest quarters, ready to make good on her promise to visit Lucy.

She approached the younger girl's makeshift room hesitantly, not wishing to startle the poor dear. From what Susan had witnessed, Lucy seemed even more skittish than Susan herself was.

"Lucy, are you awake? It's Susan." She pressed her ear against the door, trying to catch the girl's whispered reply. "I'm coming in now," she called, pushing the door open.

The girl was sat upright, her pillows freshly fluffed and primped and her sheets changed and smelling of fresh lavender and perhaps even a whiff of mint. How the staff always managed to make the washing smell so clean was beyond Susan.

"Are you feeling any better?" Susan asked compassionately, taking her usual seat beside the bed.

Lucy smiled brightly and nodded, her eyes sparkling. "Oh, much, thank you."

Susan did not return the smile. "You had us all worried. The doctor wasn't sure your fever would pass."

"I've had much worse," Lucy confided, her smile not fading from her round face. "I want to thank you for answering the door. I'd been to so many doors before I found this place that I was beginning to lose hope."

Susan pattered the girl's bony wrist. "Well, I'm glad you found us. I am not sure how much longer you would have lasted out there. However, I do think we need to find you some new clothes. Those rags are not going to cover you for much longer."

Lucy began to blush and sink further beneath her cover, her mousy hair flopping into her eyes.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. We're not all fortunate enough to be able to buy new dresses all the time." Susan had allowed her tone to grow rather too matter of fact and sighed apologetically. She knew some people did not find her logic necessary or very endearing and tried to rein it in where possible and appropriate.

Lucy nodded slowly, chewing on her chapped and sore looking lips.

"Don't do that, it'll just damage them more." She realised too late that her caring words had come out as more of a cruel demand. It was too late to take them back so she remained quiet, unsure of how to continue. "I don't mean to be unkind, I hope you understand that."

Again, Lucy nodded meekly, looking at Susan through her long eyelashes.

Susan smoothed her skirt once more, noticing as Lucy stared at the material as if transfixed. She supposed the girl had never had such finery herself. The thought saddened Susan more than she had supposed it would. "I had hoped that we would be able to let you use my old dresses, as hand-me-downs, but they didn't survive the-" Susan trailed off, smiling apologetically towards Lucy before composing herself once more. "I'm sorry. I should know better than to talk about things that upset me."

The younger girl grimaced, her button nose curling slightly. Her expression confused Susan more than she cared to admit. It was not like her to be confused about anything. She could translate almost any language, including runes, and was more logical than any other person of her age she had encountered. She supposed it was a reaction to the confinement in her grandfather's home.

***x***

Susan sipped her soup carefully, afraid to spill any on her dress. She sighed softly as the warm liquid ran down her throat, warming her up instantly. She looked up as she heard shuffling from by the door. "Oh hello, Edmund. It's nice of you to finally join us."

Her brother scowled, shaking his head as Betty moved forward to help him take his seat. "I over slept."

Susan raised a delicate eyebrow. "Edmund, it is 6 o'clock. Why on earth were you asleep?"

Edmund looked guiltily at the floor. "I couldn't sleep last night," he admitted quietly, startling Susan with his honesty.

She gave him a quick once over and immediately felt guilty for having not noticed anything was wrong with him. He had dark circles under his even darker eyes clearly announcing to all who noticed that the teenager had not been sleeping. From the look of things, he had not had a decent night's sleep in almost a week. "Edmund, I want you to be completely honest with me."

Edmund grumbled something Susan could not quite hear under his breath as he sat down before turning to look at her. "Alright."

"Have you been having nightmares again?"

He met her eyes for a few moments before turning away, thanking Ivy as she served his soup. "They never stopped," he admitted with a frown.

Susan paused as she raised the heavy silver spoon to her lips. "Edmund, you should have told me."

"It's not like it's your fault, Susan. There's nothing you can do about it."

She exhaled heavily, patting his hand with her own. "I suppose you're right. However, that doesn't mean you can't talk to me."

The siblings continued their meal in silence, neither commenting on their grandfather's conspicuous absence. It wasn't an altogether rare occurrence, he was often holed up in his study for weeks at a time.

**XXXX**

**A/N **Thank you for the reviews and follows/favourites. They mean a lot and definitely inspire me to write more and faster. The chapters are short at the moment as not much is happening but trust me as the action progresses each chapter will get longer and more interesting. I'm still struggling with characterisation but I'm hoping it will get easier as the story progresses. I'm really not sure how much I like this chapter but it's better than nothing and I'm sure you'll tell me if you really hate it. A lot of this probably seems very confusing at the moment. Good. No seriously, you're meant to.** Please R&R.**


	3. Surprises

"_Peter, I'm frightened," she whispered desperately, clutching his arm tightly. Tears were welling in her eyes all but blinding her as he continued to drag both her and Edmund towards the cellar.  
"I know. I know you are, but you have to trust me," he whispered, keeping his eyes ahead. He did not have to turn; Susan knew he was just as scared as she was. _

_There was barely any light in the corridor and Susan knew that they could not risk lighting a candle for fear of discovery. Susan felt herself shaking increasingly violently the further they walked. She had not dressed appropriately for such an activity._

"_Why do we have to leave?" Edmund asked suddenly, looking behind them as Peter tugged increasingly urgently at his wrist._

"_Sssh!" Peter hissed, pulling his siblings closer to him. "You're going to get us killed!"_

_Susan let out a soft whimper._

She bolted upright, sweat making her hair stick to her face and tangle awkwardly about her neck.

"Susan, sssh, it's alright. It's me, it's Edmund."

"Ed?"

"Yes. It's alright, Su."

Susan looked into his dark eyes, filled with worry that she rarely saw there. "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

He shook his head. "I couldn't sleep. Was the nightmare about…?"

Susan nodded melancholically; she hated admitting her weaknesses to her younger brother. She was meant to be his elder sister, the one who told him that everything was going to be okay, even if times were hard at the minute. In light of the past year's events it was perhaps unsurprising that she couldn't do so and she knew Edmund didn't hold it against her. Still, Susan Pevensie felt like a failure.

"Susan. It is the past. Neither of us can change it."

Again Susan nodded, her more logical side annoyed with the truth of her brother's words and the fact that she herself could not follow them. "You should get some sleep, Edmund."

He nodded, lowering his eyes to look at his long fingers. "Can I stay here, Su?" Rare vulnerability trickled into his voice making her start. She hadn't heard him sound so _young_ in a very long time and it truly _hurt_.

"Of course you can," she smiled, sighing when he moved to sit in the chair beside her bed. "Edmund, you might as well sleep here," she gave the end of her bed a slight pat. "Edmund, I swear by Aslan, if you kick me like you used to when you were younger, I will tell everyone about your bedwetting habits."

***x***

"_Susan! Susan wake up, we have to keep moving!"_

_She looked groggily around here before allowing her eyes to fall on her elder brother. "Peter, please…"_

_He looked sadly at her for a moment. "I'm sorry, Susie. They asked me to keep you safe. We can't stop now."_

"_Pete, she just fainted."_

"_I'm well aware of that, Edmund, I did see."_

"_I was just saying."_

"_Stop it, both of you!"_

_Peter huffed before wrapping an arm around Susan's back, hoisting her to her feet. "Come on."_

"_Peter, where are they?"_

"_They said they were going to catch up."_

_Edmund caught eyes with Susan before looking back towards their brother. _

"_They will." Susan frowned, catching the guilt in her brother's eyes._

***x***

Susan watched silently as Edmund moved his food around his plate. He had barely taken a bite out of it since the meal had been served. She looked around the room as he looked up, loathed to be caught worrying about him again; she knew how much he hated it when she did so. "Grandfather?"

The old professor looked up, his blue eyes crinkling as he smiled, reminding her painfully of Peter. "Yes, Susan?"

"I was wondering," she paused, her hands beginning to shake of their own accord. She tried futilely to steady them before giving up with a sigh. "Would it be okay if I accompanied Betty when she next goes to market?" She looked down at her lap, her fingers knotting together as the eyes of all those present fell on her.

Edmund's fork dropped to his plate with a loud 'clink'. Susan flinched as he spoke. "What?"

"Edmund, you're supposed to say pardon, it's bad manners," she muttered, avoiding his angry stare.

"Susan."

"Yes, Edmund?" She asked as sweetly as possibly, looking up from her lap with feigned innocence.

He looked around the room quickly. "You cannot be serious. Leaving the house? Who knows who's waiting for one us to leave. You know what could happen."

"Really, Edmund. I'd just be going to the market and it's not as if I'd be alone. Betty would be with me."

Both of the siblings looked towards their grandfather who had been watching them with unadulterated interest. "Susan, you know why I ask you and Edmund to stay in the house."

"Of course, grandfather, I understand."

"However, if Betty agrees, and I'm not sure she will given the risks of such a situation. I will permit it."

Susan smiled, nodding her head. "Thank you, grandfather."

Edmund scoffed, shaking his head at his sister. "Is there any news of our guest?"

"Ah, I had been meaning to discuss the matter with the pair of you. You do talk of the young girl from Ettinsmoor living in our guest room?"

Susan laughed quietly. "Unless we have another guest lurking around you have yet to tell us about, professor."

"Every old man must be allowed one secret, my dear."

"Of course."

"The doctor came by early this morning, before the pair of you were up and about. Oh, Edmund, Miss Margaret was most alarmed to find your bed empty this morning, I'm afraid you must give the poor woman your sincere apologies. She was quiet distraught to think she'd lost you."

The Pevensie siblings gave each other sidelong glances.

"I digress. The doctor has given me the most surprising news. It would seem our young guest, Lucy did you say, Susan? Yes, well, it would seem young Lucy has been keeping even more secrets than I have. Our young guest is with child."

**XXXX**

**A/N** Thank you for being patient. I have not been inspired by this fic and I'm constantly worried about characterisation. It's not fun to write when you're just worrying and having to force yourself to do so. So I apologise that this is so short, hopefully the next chapter will be at least slightly longer.


	4. Calormen

Susan had never known much about pregnancy and childbirth. After all, the topic had never been important before, living in a house filled with men and unmarried women. With the announcement of young Lucy's condition, however, she took it upon herself to read every book her grandfather owned on the matter. She dutifully read each one front to back several times, greedily devouring the new information.

Susan soon began to write out what she considered the most interesting and important parts for Lucy, who was still bedridden and quite weak, to read.

"From what I can tell from your symptoms described, you must be somewhere between three and four months along," Susan explained, struggling to read her own handwriting.

Lucy looked at the notes, carefully considering them for a moment. "I won't start showing soon?"

Susan looked up from the paper. "Well, you are such a tiny thing, but really I think it depends on the person and the baby. Why do you ask?"

"My master would whip me," Lucy admitted, sniffling.

"Oh! You don't think we're going to cast you aside, do you?" Susan asked with sincere shock. Had they not made it clear that she was welcome to stay indefinitely?

"You're not?"

"Of course not!" Susan assured her, taking Lucy's small hand in her own. "Besides," she grinned, "we've already ordered a birthing chair for you!"

***x***

"I should thank you for agreeing to accompany me, Betty. I'm sure you have far more important matters to deal with." Susan mused as she walked arm in arm with the young maid, keeping in perfect step with her.

"There's no need to thank me, Miss. I've often said to my sisters it would do you good to get out more. To actually see Calormen now that you live here."

Susan frowned before nodding. She looked around the market place, intrigued by all the foreign-looking foods and clothes. "I don't suppose we'll be able to find anything for Lucy's baby?"

Betty too looked at the stalls, considering the question before answering. "There might be some material to make into outfits. It's been a while since you made anything, Miss."

Susan agreed with a quick nod of the head. "Would you like to buy the food Grandfather asked you to collect first?"

They wandered the marketplace for a while, filling Susan's wicker basket with fruits Susan had never seen before and other food items she was far more familiar with, including, much to her surprise a live chicken.

She smiled politely to the stallholders, revelling in her freedom, however short-lived it may be. Part of her began to wonder why her grandfather had led her, and Edmund, to believe that the world outside his home was such a dangerous place. So far she had seen nothing to suggest any of his claims had any truth to them.

"Miss Susan?"

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the confusion she now felt. "What is it, Betty?"

The maid waved her over to a clothing stall, holding out a piece of fabric as soon as Susan was close enough to see it. It was a light blue with lovely golden trimmings. Susan quite fancied it for a dress of her own.

She quickly scolded herself for her unkind and selfish thoughts; she had many fine dresses and fine things in general. It was not good of her to deny Lucy and her child luxuries of their own. Besides, Susan decided she could buy enough of the fabric to have a new dress made. "It's lovely, Betty."

Betty nodded, taking some coins from the pockets of her dress and handing them over, ignoring the grumblings of the young Calormene trader, declaring the pair of them little barbarians.

"Why did he call us that?" Susan questioned as soon as they were out of the man's earshot. She had been doing some reading about Calormen customs and traditions in order to ready herself for her journey outside her grandfather's home but the subject of barbarians had never come up.

"I've never met anyone from Calormen who hasn't referred to those of Narnian heritage as barbarians. I shouldn't take offence, ma'am."

"They would refer to my grandfather in such a way?" She gasped.

"Yes, Miss Susan. I suppose it's because Narnians prefer to pray to Aslan than the Calormen god, Tash. They do not approve of our customs," Betty explained, smiling at her charge in a way that suggested that the maid found the whole thing as ridiculous as Susan herself was beginning to.

"That doesn't seem a very good reason to me," She decided before allowing Betty to lead them both back to the professor's home.

***x***

Susan spent the rest of the day avoiding her brother. Edmund had made it perfectly clear that if she actually went through with her planned trip he was not going to say a single word to her. Childish though it was for someone of his age, Susan knew why he was so upset by her actions and she couldn't honestly say she blamed him for his behaviour.

She decided that sitting with Lucy would be a good distraction from her troubled thoughts and slowly made her way up to the guest quarters that Lucy was now encouraged to call her own.

"Susan!"

She cringed, looking for an escape route before realising she was being ridiculous and turned to face her brother.

"Hello, Ed."

Edmund stood a few yards behind her with his arms folded across his chest and a rather sullen expression on his face. "How was your trip?"

"It was very pleasant, actually. It was nice to see Calormen for myself."

He stared at her for a few seconds before rushing forward to throw himself into a hug. Susan gasped; her brother hadn't behaved in such a way since he was five years old, even after all that they had been through. Had she really made him that worried simply by leaving the house?

"Edmund, are you okay?" She asked quietly, pushing him back so that she could get a good look at his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Honest."

Susan frowned, unconvinced by his shaky answer. Hugging was completely out of character for him and she didn't like it. Not one bit, there had to be something bothering him that he wasn't telling her about.

**XXX**

**A/N** I know, I know it's been far too long since I updated and this doesn't even nearly make up for it. It's just I've had no inspiration for this story and I'm really, really struggling with characterisation etc. It's been a while since I wrote for Narnia (BBC Merlin has now become my main fandom which really doesn't help). However, I have finally figured out where this story is headed, to an extent, which is very unusual for me. Help a girl out and review, please?


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